Thursday, October 8, 2015

The Value of Having a True Christian Best Friend

The Value of Having a True Christian Best Friend

In life you will experience friends that come and friends that go and very few that will stick by you forever no matter what. It's easier for some people to just be your friend when it is convenient for them or when nothing is wrong. But when a trial or struggle comes up and things get rough they just walk away because it is easier then to try and understand. Unfortunately, I have experienced this in my short life of 20 years more then twice.     

Let me first start off by saying that I'm not pointing a finger at these people or that I am judging you. I hope by writing this and getting it off my chest I will help others that may be going through this very same thing. I think everyone at least once has had a friend that walked away when things got rough. 

Just because they say they are a Christian doesn't meant they act like it. I met a girl through a Christian kids magazine pen pal program when I was 10. We would write letters and eventually started instant messaging (yes I'm that old to remember) almost everyday. This girl was my whole world. Then one day she started telling me things that were concerning and how her family no longer went to church because her dad was hurt real bad by the church. Of course I was worried abut her and was praying for her family but I knew that I had to end our relationship. What she was telling me were things that were concerning my parents. To this day I do think about her and still pray for her. 

What I learned from that experience is you should be careful in how much you give of yourself and trust them. Getting over our relationship was hard. She was my world at that time and was really the first time I ever experienced a broken relationship. 

Next was someone I met at a Christian Mother and Daughter Purity weekend conference. By this time I was 14 years old. She was similar to me and was totally living a Godly life.  She was all about waiting for true love and we had a similar situation like me about my pen pal. She spent the weekend talking, laughing and taking pictures. I even saw her perform in the orchestra after the conference because we were staying in the area for a few more days. We exchanged numbers and started talking on the phone, emailing, writing letters, instant messaging, and google buzz (yes I'm old). She would give me advice. One day she posted something that disturbed me. I was worried and afraid our friendship was heading down the same path as before. Next thing I knew she totally changed and was listening to hard music and posting lyrics to songs she liked. We grew apart but maybe I should've guessed. She even told me one time we talked that I have to be okay with God bringing people in and out of my life including her. Again I was devastated, would I ever have a true christian friend that  would stay by my side forever? God what are you trying to teach me? These were the questions going through my head. I still pray for her that she would go back to her roots and faith.

Next came along my third Christian friend, we met and connected or so I thought when I was 15. We were a lot alike and she would just tell me that I was more like a sister to her then her real sister. We would talk on the phone, video chat, Facebook, ravelry, and Instagram each other everyday. She came and stayed at our house a few times. Again I was completely open and trusted her. Boy was I wrong, that didn't last. I had a storm in my life due to health issues and she completely shut me out. She would tell me she understood what I was going through but never once proved it to me. It was all about her and how I didn't care about her. It was so bad that we had a fight on the phone and haven't spoken since. Next thing I knew she posted something to Facebook that I knew was directed at me without mentioning names so I would see it. I saw it and then the next day she unfriended me. Was I hurt? Was I devastated? Was I broken? Did I cry? YES!!! It's only normal to have these feelings. 

So now that I've completely opened up all these emotions and past relationships, the hurt and pain you are probably thinking what this has to do with the title of this piece of writing. Well let me tell you I have moved on, forgiven all these girls that have hurt me and decided to live my life as God intended. Yes it is great to have someone to talk to and interact with but it all boils down to God. One thing I learned through these situations is that God wanted me to put my trust and be completely open with Him. I'm still learning how to trust and be completely honest with Him. 

Now don't get me wrong. I have friends, and they are wonderful. God has blessed me with a wonderful support circle of people. I will go into the meaning behind the title. The value of a True Christian Best Friend.

Because of what happened to me I built up walls around me. When I meet someone new for the first time. I'm more reserved and careful about what I tell them. That doesn't mean I don't like meeting new people and become friends. We take the word being a Christian way too lightly. There is a difference in being a Christian and a True Christian. A couple things I want to point out and explain is what to look for  and what to value when choosing your friends. 

One thing is to know the other persons faith and beliefs. I'm still to this day very careful what I say to certain people because we may believe something different. I always try to find people that believe like me but as you have read it doesn't always work out like you think it will. 

Second, another thing to look for is how they act around you. Do they want to really get to know you? Do they truly care about you and want to try and understand what you are going through? For me personally, I try to listen to others and try to understand what they are saying or what they are going through.

Now you may think why is she writing on this. She has had nothing but broken friendships and never had a true Christian best friend. Let me tell you I actually do have one. I will end this by telling you the story of my True Christian Best Friend. 

My true Christian Best Friend, loves me for who I am and not what I've done or where I've been. She doesn't judge me but encourages me. When I need to talk I know she is willing to listen even if it's late at night or early in the morning. These are the things I value the most is she prays for me, gives me advice, wants to learn about my health issues and truly cares. But most of all she is completely sold out for Christ and living w true Christian life not just saying she is a Christian and that's what I value the most. I'm not mentioning names but she knows who she is. She is someone that i don't have to have my walls and barriers up with. I can be completely honest and trust without being afraid to get hurt. I believe God knew what He was doing when He placed her into my life. It was no accident! It was His plan for me. I mean this as a compliment someday I pray that I can be a true Christian friend to someone and they say the same things about me that I am saying about her right now.   

So I am going to end this here because I have probably taken way too much of your time reading this but if I help just one person with this piece of my life and story it will be worth this. So choose your friends wisely and most of all trust God to know who, when and where He places them in and out of your life. I promise you it will be worth it in the end.    


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